feeling Lent-y

Oh hey, blog.

I usually don't like using my blogs as a sort of journal to let the world know what I think or how I've been doing, but I'm in a great mood right now and I feel like telling everyone about it!

Except that's basically all there is to say... I'm happy, yayyy.

Well, as you probably know, this has been the first week of Lent. I broke a few rules already, but for the most part I'm doing great. This time of year has always been a little rough for me (post-Christmas, pre-warm weather), and I'm grateful that Lent is stuck right in the middle of all that. I used to look at Lent as a bother, an inconvenience, mainly because my father made me do it. But now that I'm a little older and realize what Lent is supposed to be, I'm happy to observe it. THANKFUL for it, even.

You might not know this (who am I kidding? of course you know this...), but I've had a mean case of the blues lately. And by lately, I mean for the past six months or so... And it's mostly my own fault because I consciously decided to turn my back on the few (oh, so few) things I was sure about in my life. And, as with so many things, it was all downhill from there...

BUT! I've decided that from henceforth I will stop being so stubborn in that way. I'm going to drift along in the flow of the Universe because I realize now that fighting the current is getting me NO WHERE. I understand more clearly now that my life story and the history of the world have been written by the same hand*. How silly, then, to try and defer from the plan that has been made for me. There really is nothing for me but to follow.

Look at that. Four days into Lent, and I'm already making life changes.

That's how it goes every year. I guess it was a little harder this time around because I really was intent on going through with all the horrible things I had planned. But no matter. That future has been absorbed in my resolve to do good. Granted, my version of good may be different from your version of good. But I promise, dear reader, that I will do my utmost from now on to create my personal harmony with that undefined Great Perhaps**. And I really think I can do it this time. Or at least keep it up longer than ever before.

Okay, maybe I haven't made the connection to Lent very clear... Every year I give up something (sweets, this time), but I also devote a lot of time and effort to creating a new habit for those 40 days. Last year it was reading a General Conference talk every day. The year before that it was writing in my journal. This year is a little simpler. This year for Lent I promise to read my scriptures and say my personal prayers every day. Granted, I know those are things that I ought to be doing anyway, but the truth is I haven't done either of those things for about six months (make any connections there?). Consciously, even. I didn't do it because... well, a lot of reasons that I don't feel like going into right now. But the important thing is that I've decided to bring it back. I've only been doing it for a few days, and I already feel exponentially better. I'm pretty sure this is where my resolve to do good is coming from. I kind of feel like an idiot for letting things get so out of hand for so long, but I think I've got it in me to keep up the good work from now on.

So anyways, there's that. I always feel better about my life during Lent, and this year is no exception. Life is happiness, indeed***.

*credit for that one goes to Paulo Coehlo (The Alchemist)
** reference to the "Great Perhaps" comes from Francois Rabelais.
*** A line from Leonard Bernstein's stage adaptation of Voltaire's Candide.

OLD

Today is my birthday.



Ten or so years ago, my birthday would probably have made me feel something like this:

But I'm not a little kid anymore. And I actually feel a little something like this:

I feel like it's important to note that I am having a good day. I have amazing friends that have done their best to make me feel special. And I'm very grateful for that.

BUT...

I just don't understand birthdays anymore. It seems to me that the inevitable descent toward senescence is not exactly something one would enjoy acknowledging, even if only on an annual basis. Of course, we humans, by nature, look for opportunities to flatter ourselves. Birthdays are rife among the masses, but for some reason we find these anniversaries of life to be something to celebrate. I don't really get why being older is an inherently honorable thing.

Regardless, older is what I am. Yes, one year older. What a dirty word, OLDER.

I'm 22 now. A good age, I think. I've never uttered the phrase, "I'm 22" before. It'll take some getting used to, obviously.

But I'm still young, thank goodness.

Thank goodness, indeed. There was a lot I wanted to have accomplished by this point in my life, but meh. I don't mind being unaccomplished. Last week it didn't bother me so much that I hadn't done all the things on my "Before I turn 22" bucket list, and it shouldn't bother me now. Just change it to a 23, and I'm all set for the next 365.

In any case, I am only a day older than I was yesterday. Meaning I haven't changed much in the transition from 21 to 22. Meaning I could write a whole blog post about the insignificance of birthdays or I could follow the pattern set by my 21-year-old self of shrugging my shoulders and going my way rejoicing.

I think I'll choose the latter.

I'm in California.

NOWAIT! I just got back from California.

Yeah, that's what I meant to say.

I love southern California so. much.
If it were up to me, I would never leave.
{ but nothing is up to me }

Here is a picture of how I feel toward California:

And here's a picture of me actually loving California that much:

Guh. I wish I was still there!

Alas, I'm in Utah.
{ and it's raining }

But! I have plenty more travelling ahead of me.

-- camping & hiking in southern Utah

-- Las Vegas (I think)

-- BFF reunion, part deux: Jarrod Call in Auburn, Washington

-- BFF reunion, part three: Brandon Langford in Portland, Oregon

-- BFF reunion, part one (cont.)* & four: Vance & Logan in Arizona

-- probably some other random trip that I don't even know about yet

I work from home as a writer for an SEO company,

so I'm pretty much free to go where ever I want.

I just have to make sure my work gets done before/while I'm there.

Kind of tedious but hey, what isn't.

I get so anxious during the summer.

It's like the warm weather is my cue to

spend all my money on making memories.

Not a bad investment, if you ask me.

Anyway, if you want to go on a road trip with me,

let me know soon, please.

I'll have to pencil you in,

probably sometime in July.

So, to make a long story even longer,

my 6-day trip to California was wonderful.

Even though I had to deal with some crazy stuff.

And I got pulled over.

(but he was Mormon and graduated from BYU, so he let me off with a warning)

I'm convinced that

California = MICHAELAHAPPY :)

That's all.



*BFF reunion, part I already took place last weekend, in San Diego with Vance Bryce. Seeing him again in Arizona is just a continuation of that reunion.

@radooga_map

= my new Twitter account.

Follow me, please.

Also, I recently started up a new blog.

http://aaandme.tumblr.com

Unnecessary, perhaps.

But I do a lot of unnecessary things.

ENJOY { life }

UNWELCOME GINGER :(

Disclaimer: I have nothing against red hair. Some of my best friends are red heads. My own father is a ginger. This is not meant to be discriminatory or anything like that.

but...

IJUSTDYEDMYHAIRREDANDIHATEIT!!!

Well, let me explain a few things:

First of all, I didn't dye my hair super ginger red. No no, I'm smarter than that. I'm pretty sure no one with Poly blood (however small the percentage may be) could ever pull off RED RED hair. I went for a medium auburn color which, given my dark natural color, should have wielded a red-tinted brown. Also, it should be known that the last time my hair was dyed was in February, so my roots were a little grown out.

THAT BEING SAID,

I tried to dye my hair tonight, and it has become a nightmare. My roots, being fresh growth and never before exposed to dye, latched onto the red color quite nicely. Well, it would have looked nice if the rest of my hair had followed suit. My ends retained the nice red-tinted brown color I was talking about. Which essentially makes my hair a two-toned disaster.

What I'm trying to say is,

no matter where I decide to part my hair,

I've got a ginger stripe.

And I reeeeeeally don't appreciate it.

I've washed my hair a total of four times in the last two hours. I've used six different shampoos/conditioners on it, scrubbed my scalp raw, and even set some laundry detergent on my part in hopes of dimming the color. Alas, to no avail.

It's times like these that I'm glad my hair color fades quickly.

craft monster.

THAT'S WHAT I AM.

I'm a fan of dedicating things to stuff.

(yes, I know how stupid that sounds)

I dedicated last summer to foreign films and ended up discovering my favorite zombie movie (a Norwegian film called Dead Snow, checkitouttt). I've decided to dedicate this summer to CRAFTS.

A craft a week, that's the goal. So far so good. Granted, I've only been at it for a week. But I got a cool rug out of it (which I'm selling to my friend for $10, by the way). And I'm in the middle of making a piñata for the sick Cinco de Mayo party I'm throwing. After that, I don't really have any ideas... I think I'm going to make a bouquet of paper flowers? I don't know... I'm sure I'll come up with something creative and totally awesome. If I was good at wood-working, I'd totally make this. Alas, another time.

spring time

It's spring time!, which means the world ought to look like this:

But instead, I see a whole lotta this:

okay, maybe that's a tiny exaggeration...

The point I'm trying to make is that the earth is not treating this season fairly. At least the UTAH part of the earth. It's too cold & blustery to be spring. My seasonal depression is extending into May which is NOT! alright with me. I'm considering resorting to those ancient "Mr. Golden Sun" chants that I loved when I was a toddler.

Life was so much simpler then.

In any case, I have subconsciously confined myself to my apartment during the 'sunshine' hours (for lack of said sunshine). As usual, I thrive during the night hours when the sky is SUPPOSED to be dark, no matter what time of year. Which means I stay up wayyy too late. Which means I sleep during most of the morning (if I even see the morning at all). Which means I was still in bed when my new roommate moved in at noon. SO EMBARRASSING.

Oh yes, part of spring means new roommates. I could go on about my new roommates except for the fact that I don't know them at all. All I know is that Rachel (straight out of the freshman dorms, btw) woke me up this morning (er, afternoon) with a big suitcase and an embarrassed face. I think I was more humiliated than she was, at the time. At least I had cleaned the room the night before. WHEW.

Anyway, spring is (hopefully) on it's way with summer following close behind. As a deadbeat for the summer (no school, no job), I'm sure I will have plenty of time to... I don't know, make crafts and stuff. I've got a summer to do list this year (as is customary). But that will have to wait for another post.

Until next time ♥